Kingkiller On Facebook
by Satellizer123
Summary: Well, the title says it. Just a little fun.


( Docx Converter - Unregistered )

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Checking my wallet… Cool! A butterfly!

Author's Note: I think bringing a little fun into Kingkiller Chronicle is very necessary. And what is funnier than Facebook? =))

Chap 1

Kvothe the Bloodless: Hello everyone, I just got a Facebook account! Joy to the world!

(Simmon, Wilem and 6 others like this)

Demon Devi: Hi Kvothe. Ready to play some online game? *wink seductively*

Kvothe the Bloodless: *gulp*

Wilem: Get a room. =="

Demon Devi: But we're on Facebook. Is that fact too much for you to digest, Wil?

Wilem: So… get a wall =.=.

Kvothe the Bloodless: Hey people! Our favorite Rosey just sent me a friend request. Can it be a prank?

(Master Hemme likes this)

Simmon: I don't know, he can upload your nude pics and tag you with them? (12 people like this)

Kvothe the Bloodless: Bullshit. The only person that possibly has my pics is….

Demon Devi: Yessss?

Kvothe the Bloodless: *gulp* no one.

Demon Devi: So, why did you have Hemme as your friend?

Master Hemme: It's crucial for a student to add all the masters' Facebook account. Who are you to ask?

Demon Devi: I am the one that almost whipped your hairy *** when you charged me with Malfeasance! Lucky for you I was found not guilty on that.

_Master Hemme is now Offline_

Demon Devi: ….Coward.

Kvothe the Bloodless likes Anker's.

Anker's: Boy, I will tell you this one last time. GET OFF MY HOUSE'S INTERNET OR YOU'LL GO SLEEP WITH THE COW!

_Kvothe the Bloodless was now Offline_

iTunes: So everyone, to download the hit song "Jackass, Jackass" by Kvothe, all you have to do is sign up and click the "Download" button.

(16347 people likes this)

Eminem: Who the **** is Kvothe?

Westlife: He is a really hot teenager with cool hairstyle.

Eminem: Are you guys gay or something? (1111 people like this)

Westlife: …No, we're just stating the fact.

Kvothe the Bloodless likes Google.

Master Lorren: Welcome to the Online Archives, Re'lar Kvothe.

Kvothe the Bloodless: WOW! Awesome! More internet links than I've ever seen in my life! Thousands and thousands of it! *look around a while* Hey, what is this "Porn" site? OH TEHLU! IT BURNS MY EYES!

Simmon wrote on Master Lorren's Wall: He found "it" much earlier than I thought, sir.

Wilem commented on Master Lorren's Wall post: Maybe you should make the security options for that section a little more complex in order to prevent teenagers from gaining access easily.

Simmon: Wil! You just wrote a complete sentence! And you said you sucked at Aturan!

Wilem: I know. Google Translation is the best translator I've found so far.

Master Lorren: I LOL.

(325 people like this)

Master Elxa Dal: Holy ****! You what?

The Chancellor: Language, Elxa Dal.

Master Elxa Dal: Whatever =)) So, to anyone that had made Lorren laugh out loud, please like this comment to get your reward of 10 gold marks. (189 people like this)

Master Elxa Dal: **** it! You wanna rape my purse to death?

The Chancellor: Elxa Dal! One more time and you are fired!

Master Lorren: Just for the record, I didn't laugh.

Master Elxa Dal: What? But you said "LOL"!

Master Lorren: I said: "I Lost One Leg".

The Chancellor: SHIT!

Master Elxa Dal: Holy cow, you SWORE! Master Lorren: What's wrong? What happened? What's the problem?

Master Arwyl: He's fine now. I've sewn it back.

The Chancellor: That's possible?

Master Arwyl: Anything is possible in the fiction world. I've even read a story about a boy that has spent a night with Felurian and left with both his sanity and his life. That can't be done in the real world. The story is called "The Kingkiller Chronicle".

Master Elxa Dal: Really? I must check it out.

The Chancellor: And everyone, my swearing doesn't leave this status. OK?

Master Elxa Dal: Everyone knows about it already. Don't you see the 325 people that like this status?

The Chancellor: *faints*

Simmon: Do you believe that every time Kvothe finds something new, he gets into trouble?

(7 people like this)

Wilem: Nah. I don't.

Mola: Me neither.

Simmon: Guys, how about a bet?

Wilem: You're on. 5 jots that he doesn't.

Mola: 3 jots.

Simmon: Just wait and see.

*2 minutes later*

Kvothe the Bloodless: Hey, I just bought a really cool device called "Eye-pod". How can I use it?

Simmon: Go to the "iTunes" Facebook page and ask. They know everything about it.

*back to Simmon's status*

Simmon: He found something new!

Mola: What is it?

Simmon: An iPod.

Fela: Aw, the safest thing in the world. I'll take the bet too. How about a talent?

Simmon: OK. I know more about him than you all do.

*meanwhile, at the iTunes page*

Kvothe the Bloodless: Hey, how can I use an Eye-Pod?

(125 people like this)

Eminem: Jackass. Wait a minute… Aren't you that new singer?

Kvothe the Bloodless: Yep.

Eminem: You better not diss me like that Rosey, dude. Or else I'll fry your arse. (353 people like this)

Kvothe the Bloodless: I take attitude from no one, man. I got enough people after my arse.

Eminem: Oh f*** you. It's on!

Simmon: Pay up.

Wilem: How about I give you my FarmVille account?

Simmon: Nope.

That's it for a chapter. Later days!

NCT


End file.
